On the one hand, I’m not loving these last 4 months. The Klonopin withdrawal and Prozac withdrawal have been absolutely freakin brutal. I’m 75% off my Klonopin and went cold turkey off my Prozac a few weeks ago.
For the most part, I’ve been coasting along and dealing with the mental and physical symptoms. Every once in awhile I get creamed, and last night I really went through the ringer (again).
I woke up at 2am from a disgustingly disturbing nightmare complexly soaked in sweat. I stumbled to the bathroom in the dark to wipe myself down. The truly bizarre thing about sweating and Prozac withdrawal is where I sweat. My scalp was soaked , as were the back of my knees, my shins and forearms. (Bizarr-o World admission pass: Jill gets a front row seat 🙂 )
I went through a similar night this past weekend and I have to be honest: sometimes I wonder if all this is worth it. I really wanted relief and I was tempted to just take my freakin Klonopin and Prozac. That would stop the side show immediately.
And then there’s Iggy Pop
Back when I thought I was cool (in my wild 20’s) I prided myself on my huge CD collection. Back in November, when I started weaning off my Klonopin, I listened to one of my old faves, Iggy Pop Brick by Brick, when I was driving out to Buffalo to visit my sister.
Well for the past 4 months, Iggy’s been playing in my head pretty much non stop. You know how you associate music with certain times in your life? Once I’m completely off my meds, Brick by Brick will always hold a special place in my heart and I know Iggy will be proud of me(lol).
I should also mention that a few of my friends have suggested that I should be in a rehab to do this medication withdrawal. Well, I spoke to my primary care physician just this morning and he disagreed. He said that rehab is for people who are in acute withdrawal.
So what is acute withdrawal?
What the Doctor said: People who withdraw from a drug faster than they’re supposed to. You should be commended for how well you’re doing.
He also recommended I see a psychiatrist and that maybe I should be on Effexor or Cymbalta.
What Jill said: (Huge red flag.) No way, doc. I respectfully disagree. This is where a lifetime of going to doctors has gotten me: A very large amount of Klonopin plus my Prozac PLUS 3mg of Xanax just to be able to go to work in the morning was where well meaning psychiatrists got me.
What Jill didn’t say: And by the way, we live in a small community and I happened to recognize the name of the psychiatrist you recommended. My husband went to him for depression a few years ago and became a walking zombie he was so stoned on meds. So thanks but no thanks.
What the Doctor said: Well, this is your panic disorder coming back
What Jill said: Again I respectfully disagree. I was traumatized as a child from the nuns in my catholic school, and as a teenager I drank like a fish and smoked way too much pot. I’m now gratefully sober and I wouldn’t touch pot with a ten foot pole.
On the other hand…
I’ll be the first person to say medication withdrawal sucks, plain and simple. But I am starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel.
Last night sucked big time and I started this day with blurred vision, floaters and a migraine headache. I took Excedrin Migraine and had a few cups of my beloved decaf green tea. While I was waiting for my migraine medicine to kick in I was blinded from the floaters so I couldn’t really do anything.
First, my sister called and I had a really wonderful chat with her. Then I had a great phone call with my girlfriend Nira. Then I chatted with my husband for a few minutes
My vision finally came back and at 10:23. by then I was laughing from talking to everyone and I found myself sitting here at my computer grinning like the Cheshire cat. my day is really starting to look up.
Next we’ll look at more of the strange and bizarre symptoms of Klonopin and Prozac withdrawal I’ve been experiencing. I hope this post helps you somehow and you have a wonderful day.
My recommended resources for dealing with life on life’s terms:
- Alcoholics Anonymous
- Al-Anon – for families and friends of alcoholics
- Chapter9 Couples in Recovery -Bob are I chair our local meeting—yes I broke our anonymity and I don’t care, it saved our marriage and I would shout that from the mountaintops. 🙂
- any 12 step program.
I wish you peace,
ps. Thankfully, there are a number of effective anxiety treatment programs available to us anxiety and panic attack sufferers today. See which one is right for you and get started today on reclaiming your life from fear.
photo credit: aleksey.const