Teachings from every religion tell us that we are complete and perfect the way we are.
Well, that sounds fine and dandy, but when you are feeling anxious or lonely, it sure is easy to forget. For me, I always feel isolated and disconnected. It’s a very unsettling feeling, and I feel that discomfort right in my gut.
I watched a video from Jeff Foster recently about How to Not Leave Yourself when You’re Going Through a Breakup– and it really helped me.
Jeff Foster talks of a 'break-up' as a spiritual opportunity – to meet yourself very deeply. To 'break-up' the addiction to past and future, and connect with your body in the present moment. To not abandon yourself for another person. Filmed in Holland, 2016.
Posted by Jeff Foster (www.lifewithoutacentre.com) on Sunday, November 5, 2017
Jeff Foster talks of a ‘break-up’ as a spiritual opportunity – to meet yourself very deeply. To ‘break-up’ the addiction to past and future, and connect with your body in the present moment. To not abandon yourself for another person.
Now, I am not going through a break up right now, and maybe you aren’t either. But the teaching in this video was so helpful and applicable to everyday living. Especially for an anxious person.
Here are some notes and takeaways from the teaching:
Whenever I feel a sense of loneliness, anxiety or abandonment, I can know that others didn’t abandon me. It was me experiencing separation, trying to get away from the feeling and abandoning myself.
Loneliness, anxiety, and negative emotions like that come from feeling separate. I feel separate, or apart, from others.
But the real reason I feel lonely is because I have separated from myself– from my essence, from consciousness. I think I need something outside me, to complete me, or to feel better.
But the truth is that we are already complete. However, we have our egos, and hold the belief that we are a person, someone with a story, a past, someone with problems, etc.. This separates us from reality (which is always kinder than our thinking) and covers up who we really are.
In reality we are one with all that is. We are connected to our stillness, to the vast eternal, to consciousness. We are all one consciousness.
We, in our loneliness and anxiety, are like a branch that forgets it a part of a tree.
When we “remember” our completeness, we cannot be lonely. Even if we are alone.
The antidote to this is to not turn away from the unpleasant feeling.
Instead of resisting or turning away, try allowing yourself to feel the unpleasant feelings. Do not resist or try to eat or move or do any addictive behavior to make it go away. For in doing so you abandon yourself. You are looking outside yourself for comfort, for relief.
But the answer, the solution is not “out there.”
Instead be with the feeling completely. Be present to transmute it. Stay with it.
All of a sudden, everything feels better. Lighter…
And also, once we remember we are complete, our energy is different , and we no longer live and act in a lonely, needy way. I have discovered this firsthand in my life.
So now, once we understand this, we can be on guard. When we experience anxiety or loneliness again, we can use this as a wake-up call to practice being present.
To be where you are NOW.
So, when you feel those pangs of negative emotion, you must embrace them. We as humans use everything to cover up and push away loneliness. We eat, shop, watch TV, take pills, drink, gossip, lay on the couch, and do every addictive behavior under the sun.
I am saying We here, but the truth is, I am talking about myself. I have done all of the above and more, to get away from unpleasant feelings.
But to be with the feeling, to turn toward it, you learn to create space around it in the stillness. And once you do that, it goes away pretty quickly.
When I no longer resist an unpleasant feeling, and instead, just give it space to be, it dissolves. It goes back into nothing.
Then once again you feel complete. You are in your natural state.
Your energy field is different. Life become sweeter.
This is a life changing realization. 🙂
Now obviously I’m not at the state where I remember this all the time. That is why I am blogging about it. I am writing it down as a reminder to myself. and also because I hope this reaches others who need to hear it.
A good way, I have found, to stay in a state of connection with others, is to focus on stillness, kindness, and gratitude.
As someone who lived in an anxious state for years, it is second nature for me to feel distant from others.
However, I am unlearning this unnatural way of being, and remembering my true nature, which is to be peaceful and happy among others.
I wish you peace,