What a nice spring we are having. I just came in from taking Buddy around the block and down to the little lake we have near our house. All the little buds and leaves are coming out. The forsythia are just past their prime, as well as the daffodils and early spring flowers. And the birds are all around singing and happy. The grass is really green, it’s been raining a lot.
Walking, I felt such gratitude for this mild afternoon. I’d woken up with some anxiety, but worked on getting my head straightened out.
I listened to some spiritual things that really brought me a lot of comfort today. There was a prayer I read from A Course in Miracles that I just loved. I shared it on Facebook earlier. Here it is:
I must have decided wrongly,
because I am not at peace.
I made the decision myself,
but I can also decide otherwise.
I want to decide otherwise,
because I want to be at peace.
I do not feel guilty, because the Holy Spirit
will undo all the consequences
of my wrong decision if I will let Him.
I choose to let Him, by allowing Him
to decide for God for me.
And I found this wonderful video about healing from morning anxiety:
Just because I woke up and felt nervous, doesn’t undo all the great strides I’ve made. I know that I lived with an anxious mind for years and didn’t know how to help myself, other than medicating away all the feelings. So that these old thought patterns come back and rise up doesn’t mean anything.
I don’t have to take my mind so seriously.
I have my little morning meditation routine now that I just love. I sit for at least 6 minutes in silent meditation when I get up every morning.
This is such a great way to establish a connection to my sense perceptions and to the breath. This is how I anchor myself in the present moment. Now I may lose the present moment a thousand times throughout the day, but I can always come back to the breath. I just have to remember this.
Another thing I remembered today was that when I feel fear today, to welcome it. To not resist it. Rather, I can remember to just observe that it is there and breathe. I had a zing of anxiety in the few minutes before my gym class started this morning. I often get triggered with anxiety before a class starts, something about the waiting with nothing to do…
Anyhow, I felt the fear as a wave, I felt it rise up and the thought came for a split second to leave the class immediately. But I didn’t listen in. I stood my ground and of course the fear died down. It was a phantom and nothing more.
Once the class started I remembered the little prayer from this morning. And I remembered how we are all connected. We are all little parts of a big whole. And the reason there is so much fear and unease is that we forget we are connected. We feel fragmented (and anxious people feel it acutely), but we are all little ripples on a big ocean of humanity. We are all one. I know that sounds out there, but it’s the truth.
There is something so comforting when I remember I am a part of everything and not separate. I have forgotten through years of wrong thinking because of anxiety.
And being out and connected to nature always helps me feel better too. This morning it was so dreary and raining. But it wasn’t cold thankfully, so I took Buddy for a walk and it was really nice. How lucky I am to have a day off in the middle of the work week. It felt almost holy it was that nice!
So that’s it. A nice little day that started out not so great, but that turned around nicely. And feeling gratitude for reconnecting to the universe. Going around doing my things, little chores and walks and whatnot.
Thank you Lord, for showing me how beautiful life can be- even if it is just another day in the middle of the week. Even if I have fear and old feelings, thank you for showing me such wonderful tools to make the fear go away.
Hoping this finds you well!