Stop Negative Thinking – When your mind is the enemy

You cant live a positive life thinking negative thoughts. Dwell on the positive.

My mind has been such an enemy to me lately. All week it seems I have been struggling with negative and anxious thoughts, particularly first thing in the morning, which is when I feel most vulnerable.

The mind is very very clever and knows what thoughts to feed you to make you upset. Once you are taken over by the thoughts, it can be hard to come out of it. It took me almost a week to feel better and get my inner calm back today.

We did just have a full moon and I did get my period- usually I feel better after these happenings, especially when I have been feeling a build up of emotion.

What else could it be? Winter doldrums? Check. I am sick of being stuck in the house on weekends. My husband is also stuck in the house, and that means his hobbies are all around. He is fixing broken bikes currently. This morning at 6:30 I was greeted with the nauseating smell of spray paint in my kitchen. So unpleasant!

thoughts thoughts thoughts

My daughter is going back to school tomorrow for her spring semester. I will miss her very much, and yet on the other hand, I am sort of glad she’s leaving. Meaning- the mess, the extra dishes, the noise, will also be gone.

What else… Well I miss my mom and my sister. I have to visit them soon. I feel guilty because I didn’t want to go visit my parents a few weekends ago. I ended up telling a little white lie and chose to stay home- and then I felt guilty about the lie. I just didn’t feel like making the almost 3 hour drive upstate, and all alone at that because no one wanted to come with me. And the next weekend we were snowed in. So double guilt.

Every day this week going into work has been challenging. I feel all vulnerable and scared and I get those stupid thoughts that I won’t be able to handle being there for 10 hours. What a pain in the ass. Without fail the thoughts fade soon after I am there. But the next morning there they are again. Like that old movie Groundhog Day- where every morning is a repeat of the previous one.

As I type it occurs to me that the common denominator of all these things is that I feel overwhelmingly lonely lately. I haven’t really felt connected to my husband or sister or mom or friends lately. Because of that I have been down, and this is fertile ground for negative thoughts!

Yesterday at work my friend was saying how she used to work with a woman who had breast cancer. How brave she was to go through chemotherapy and radiation. I have worked with breast cancer survivors too, and yes they are inspiring. It is heartbreaking to see them so sick and yet there they are everyday showing up and working.

You know, we who live with anxiety are pretty brave too if you ask me. It sucks pretty bad to wake up and feel like absolute hell and still have to go out there and put on a brave face to the world and be productive.

It occurred to me as I was writing this that I have been not only having a lot of negative thoughts lately.. But even worse, I have been letting myself get sucked in and completely taken over by them.

When I think horrific, negative, worrisome, anxious, fearful thoughts, that is what my life becomes. 

There is a quote I heard recently that puts my recent mind crap into perspective beautifully:

It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it. – Aristotle

So the takeaway from all this is a massive dose of loving self care. When you feel bad, vulnerable, or down for whatever reason- be the guardian of your mind. Know that your mind will try to feed you negative thoughts because that is what the mind does.

But please realize that you don’t have to believe every negative thought.

You can choose to think on better things, and so can I. If you let your mind go on autopilot, you will stay stuck in the negative thinking. It’s time to stop dwelling on the negative…

I wish you peace,

Jill

FYI. I just purchased this from Uncommon Knowledge: Stop Negative Thinking Hypnosis Download – it shows you how to let negative thoughts drift by without having any emotional impact on you. It was only $14.95, I will use this to ground myself this week and ongoing. I sure could have used this a week ago, but very glad to have it now 🙂

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15 Responses to Stop Negative Thinking – When your mind is the enemy

  1. Marilyn says:

    Hey jilly sending you a big hug from over the pond. We are very brace have no doubt about that one this is as real as any physical illness

    You are doing great really. Please don’t let your thoughts make you believe otherwise honey. I know listen to me. Easier said than done

    Luv you bash on honey xxxx

    • JillG says:

      Hi Mazzy,

      Thank you so much for the hug, sending one back to you too. Yes it is real suffering for sure, it’s so hard because we cover it all up, and make it look like we’re ok to the world. Thank you for saying I’m doing well, I know I’m ok but man anxious thoughts can be just horrible. If I was a movie producer making psychological horror films I’m sure I’d be a millionaire 😀

      xxx
      Jill

  2. Noelle says:

    Oh my Jill, I am right there with you!! I have been thinking anxious thoughts for about two weeks. I usually do anyway but last and this week have been so much. I told myself if I do start thinking negatively and I am at home I need to work on a good exercise. I am still working on at work but so far walking around helps some. As I was reading your post and I feel just like you do. I don’t have children yet but it’s rough feeling bad around my husband. I want him to be happy and he has his hobbies too or items he wants to help or work on. I still need to get into something but today so far I did work on something’s I needed too and stayed home which helped a lot. Overall a little change at a time. Thank you for all your helpful posts!!

    • JillG says:

      Oh Noelle, two weeks you poor thing. One week of negative thinking was really doing me in – I almost had a big cry this morning while I was cleaning the bathroom.

      Yes I think exercise does help- it doesn’t matter what you do as long as you move and get out of your head, so to speak ;). Walking is great actually, good for you, keep it up.

      Also, you’re right, little changes do add up. So good on you again.

      Thank you so much for the kind comment, I appreciate it!

      Hugs,
      Jill x

  3. Marilyn says:

    Meant to say brace not brace. My head is a shed he he x

  4. Marilyn says:

    What Brave. There done it this time x

  5. veronica says:

    Uncanny reading your thoughts this morning because I’ve just finished writing 3 pages in my diary (which I write first thing in the morning while I’m still in bed) about guilt, anxiety doubt and fear being ever present. It really is a ‘shitty’ way to live, day after day and yes it’s always at it’s worst first thing in the morning. Yesterday I was talking on the phone to a dear friend who is also a widow and she mentioned that she felt financially vulnerable even though she’s financially in good shape. I remember my Mother being anxious in this way after her husband died and I can relate to this completely. It’s all connected to our feelings of fear about supporting ourselves without our ‘other half”…that masculine presence which somehow protected us from all this. Another thought which I think ‘has legs’ is that if one loses one’s mate there is a feeling of guilt for being the one who survived. The giant hurdle is of course ‘Loving and Letting Go’. Somehow one feels that ‘letting go’ and enjoying what’s left of one’s live is the same as being unfaithful to the one who is gone. This is of course absurd and it makes daily life a form of pergatory which no caring and sensitive soul should have to endure but there it is. Dr. Claire Weekes does write in her wonderfully informative book that the mornings are absolutely the worst for people with nervous illness and she is spot on there. Getting out of bed and getting on with the day, incorporating some brisk walking if one can, does improve one’s mood as the day progresses. I watched Novak Djokovic win the Oz Open this a.m. and he mentioned that he has had to work constantly at keeping doubt out of his mind and look how far that discipline has taken him. Guilt, doubt and fear have to be given the boot if one can stay focused and notice when they are creeping into our minds. I hate the expression ‘misery loves company’ and yet there is a vague sort of comfort in knowing that one is not alone in this weird condition which seems to be an ongoing form of self punishment…but for what??

    • JillG says:

      It’s good that you keep a journal Veronica. The morning vulnerability/anxiety seems to be pretty common for sure. Today, I got up and immediately
      took Buddy for a long walk. What a difference that makes, I feel so much better than yesterday. I also have my new hypnosis download which I will
      listen to before work tomorrow. There is just no way I am having another shitty week if I can help it! 🙂

      I too don’t like “Misery Loves Company” I try to keep this blog uplifting but it also is my real life so I have to keep it real too.

      I am not a widow, though I do have feelings of financial vulnerability, which I guess most people can relate to, as well as the bigger umbrella of fear and being alone. It’s nice you have your dear friend that you can talk to.

      Thank you for your comments!

      Hugs,
      Jill

  6. Veronica says:

    Hi Jill, I just posted a reply and don’t know if it’s gone through to your blog or not. We truly are ‘all in this together’ and by encouraging one another we are all making positive moves. I’m going on a trip to France later this year and am filled with anxiety about the travel part however I’m just letting things move along and understand that there are always people who will help. My widowed friend is making travel plans now and she told me that I had inspired her to go on a trip to see her brother who she hasn’t seen in 14 years. It felt so good to be told that I had ‘inspired someone’ who shares all the same doubts and fears.

  7. Marilyn says:

    Wow. I think we should all pay ourselves on the back because we are terrific people. We work and do life without anyone knowing what we go through. Sometimes it is easier than other times but that’s life. I am so proud of us all

    I hope each and everyone had a good week and if all else fails just think Nike tick and just do it

    Luv Maz x

  8. Joe J. says:

    The negative thoughts are the hardest thing I am am dealing with. Although they are not as frequent as the have been they are tough to deal with.Reading your blog led me to a book by Barry Mcdonagh “DARE” that has helped me along with reading your articles.Stay positive and smile.

    • JillG says:

      Hi Joe,

      Glad to hear the articles here help you as well as the book you found. It’s very helpful to have a trusted book to refer to when you are going through a tough spell. Take care and thanks for your comment.

      Hugs,
      Jill

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