The last 3 days at work were long and I had some intense periods of anxiety. I was well able to handle it though. Before I went into work, I examined my thoughts by writing them down. I did Byron Katie’s The Work.
A little background info- my husband is still going through a depression. His job is on the line and while he missed the first round of lay offs, he feels certain that it won’t be long before he is unemployed. Also, he has been battling Crohn’s disease for a few years and he still isn’t in remission. Last year involved 2 hospitalizations because he had bowel obstructions.
To put it mildly, life hasn’t been a bowl of cherries around here, lol. 🙂
I have been doing whatever I can to keep my mind healthy. When I noticed my mind was starting to go to that dark place and I knew I was prone to anxiety and panic I knew I had to take action.
Here is the exercise I did:
My mind is taking me over with anxiety.
Is it true?
Can I absolutely know it’s true?
I pause and think. Ok, no… No.
What happens when I believe the thought, My mind is taking me over with anxiety?
I feel like I’m trapped in unending and interminable suffering. I am constricted, contracted. My solar plexus feels heavy. My heart races and I can’t catch my breath. I feel like a prisoner being lead to a gas chamber. I want to cry. I want to run and hide. I am scared for my life
Who would you be without the thought, My mind is taking me over with anxiety?
Present, calm in the moment. Well able to handle any stress or situation. I would be happy to be at work and just work. I feel joyous inside with the peace within, knowing I have overcome this feeling that has plagued me for decades. I can live, work, and be comfortable and happy. I am just feeling regular, and very appreciative of it.
I am taking my mind over with anxiety.
Yes!! As I walk into work, I am turning the old thoughts on and proving once again that anxiety is there. Good old anxiety and panic. I am running those old stories and thoughts in my mind over and over. And every time, they do exactly the same thing: they scare me half out of my wits and make me feel bad.
My mind is NOT taking me over with anxiety.
Yes! I walk into work and I put my poor self through hell. I am doing this to myself. This is not an automatic response out of nowhere. It is a learned habit, because I feel bad about myself in that moment when I walk into work.
My mind is healthy and strong. It is resilient and bright and capable. I can stay in the moment and feel my inner body and not go into the past or future.
My mind is taking me over with LOVE.
I am well able to go to work, I am well able to be quietly confident. I am everything God says I am. I am made in His likeness. I love myself and feel compassion for my years of suffering. I now understand that my birthright is happiness.
I wish you peace,
Recommended book: Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life
Here are 2 other articles where I worked though anxious feelings using Byron Katie’s The Work:
http://panicfreeme.com/6632/doing-the-work-for-panic-attacks-anxiety/ – tracing my anxiety back to my earliest memory of it.
http://panicfreeme.com/6521/my-baby-is-leaving-the-nest/ – when I was worried about my daughter leaving for college.
image credit: https://www.facebook.com/theworkofbyronkatie/photos/a.10150536570889150.372583.93319279149/10152750898539150/?type=1&theater