After a Panic Attack- Peace

yes i canMy daughter is leaving for college in 6 weeks. :) :(   We went to a 2 day orientation at her college earlier this week.

It was an informative, jam-packed, happy, emotional 2 days. The parents had 2 days of activities and the students had 2 days of testing and separate activities.

I had 2 panic attacks. And I not only survived, I was truly ok...

I am still actively practicing the Triple A Technique from the 60 Second Panic Solution. The challenge for me is that the signal that is my Alert to start doing the Triple A is very cunning. It is a churning feeling in my stomach coupled with anxious what if thoughts.

What can be very hard is to discern that these thoughts are a symptom and not to indulge them. In other words, notice that I’m having racing thoughts – and then proceed to the rest of the Triple A- Alter Picture and then Applause…

When I get sucked into the thoughts, I lose every time. In fact, I did get sucked in completely during one point in the orientation.

Hubby and I were in a huge auditorium filled to capacity where we were watching students perform skits. It was the end of a long day and I was feeling a bit frazzled from the fun filled, exciting, but emotional day.

I sat down in the front with him and the skits began. About 45 minutes into the program, I had a panic attack. Then I had another one.

The sucky thing is that I had 2 panic attacks. The cool thing is- they were not nearly as bad as they could have been. :)

I knew on some level that I was letting my mind go where it shouldn’t. I let it start to think about “oh here I am sitting up front trapped here, what if I make a fool out of myself, everyone will know…, etc.”

I recognize now that I did this because I was feeling so weary.

Boom! as soon as I had the thought, I had a panic attack. Then as is my usual pattern, the thoughts cycled again and Boom! there I go again.

What I did differently- after I let the panic wash over me- was to do the Triple A right on the spot.

I sat there and let myself shake and feel horrible and breathe like a panting animal, but then watched how my body began to relax and get calm and feel good again as I called up my Alter picture image in my mind.

I always picture a glorious winter snow scene with a little house, complete with the glorious smell of pine and feeling of cold air and maybe a fireplace somewhere in the distance.

This scene is for me the epitome of love, safety and good feelings.

winter scene

Next, I went straight into the Applause…

Way to go sweetheart! You just survived a very real near death experience. You are wonderful!! I am so proud of you!!! I hugged myself in my mind’s eye…

Can I tell you that was about the nicest way I ever came down off after a panic attack?

When the skits wrapped up and we were walking out of the auditorium, I was filled, not with self loathing and sadness as I have always done in the past, but with a feeling of triumph and self love and compassion…

Win. :)

I wish you peace,

Jill G.

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4 Responses to After a Panic Attack- Peace

  1. maz says:

    Love it well done you. Made me smile x

  2. Husan says:

    Hi Jill,
    I am inspired by your website. You are truly brave and I sincerely wish you continued success with your recovery.
    I stumbled across your website a few weeks back and have been enjoying reading your articles. They are written with real emotion and conviction but more importantly, you are able to relate to all your fellow sufferers.
    I read, with interest, the article and review of the 60 Second Panic Solution. I was compelled to buy it immediately which I did and am trying my level best to go through the programme on a daily basis but do not achieve this always.
    I have suffered with Anxiety and Panic Disorder coupled with Agoraphobia for over 30 years. This also manifested into Social Anxiety Disorder (SAD). My physical symptom during an Anxiety/Panic attack is that I start sweating uncontrollably. You would be forgiven into thinking that I had literally come out of the shower. My whole body is dripping with sweat during my Anxiety/Panic attack. The more that I wipe my face and try to look inconspicuous, the worse it gets and the more conscious I become of making a complete and utter fool of myself. Once these thoughts have taken over, then my mind goes into overdrive into telling me how useless and pathetic I am and what people must be thinking of me. This I could perhaps cope with but not when I am left feeling that I am causing an embarrassment to my wife and children. I am particularly conscious of performance and the fear of being ridiculed. I was bullied all through school and have very low self esteem and no confidence.
    Although a struggle, I managed to get through University. That said, I have fought Anxiety and Panic Disorder as much as possible and refused to let it have total control (event though it never feels that way). I have always made a success of every position I have held. I am a Chartered Engineer and have always worked in very demanding roles with significant responsibility attached to them. I am aware that these roles have put additional strain on my ability to cope with Panic and Anxiety and have fuelled them further.
    Anxiety and Panic Disorder make you feel very isolated and alone. I am deeply depressed most of the time and fearful of the next attack. It is extremely difficult to confide in anyone as you are unable to convince your own self that you are worthy of anyone’s help. I am experiencing Anxiety and Panic attacks regularly all day and the feeling of disappointment and self loathing is overwhelming which then leads to self hate and ridicule.
    Like many sufferers, I have read hundreds if not thousands of articles on the web, bought and tried many so called methods, cures, remedies, medication etc. etc. but none have worked for me. It may be that as an Anxiety or Panic sufferer, we want that ‘magic’ instant solution and we do not possess the patience nor endurance to stay with any program for any length of time before we move on to the next possible solution. My advice to anyone suffering from any Anxiety or Panic Disorder is to seek help immediately. DO NOT suffer in silence and certainly not for the period I have. This is VITAL to your recovery. Anxiety and Panic Disorder IS CURABLE and the sooner you start, the sooner you will see positive results and regain control.
    This is the first time I have ever written on the subject and I am sorry if it is not coherent.
    Never let Anxiety or Panic control what you do and where you go. Life is so short. You were NOT put on this earth to suffer. Free your mind of this debilitating and useless condition. It is NOT welcome and serves no purpose in your life. Who cares what others think if you experience an Anxiety/Panic attack. What you feel, think and believe is much more important. DON’T do nothing. If you haven’t already, the time to change and take control is NOW. You deserve a better life. You are no longer a prisoner – be free and enjoy life.

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