Re-learning how to be happy is such an exciting journey for me.
If you’ve been following along, I hope you are finding this for yourself too! Yesterday I had yet another lesson in happiness, namely: Do I want Peace or do I want Drama?
By nature, my ego (or inner voice) wants to complain. It wants drama and is fed by the addiction to unhappiness and anxiety. It therefore keeps me trapped in the low energy of unhappiness. This doesn’t mean I walk around feeling overly sad and depressed, but it does mean that my underlying energy is negative.
And this is what I wish to change.
This complaining nature is very comfortable to me– feeding the ego with negative thinking is all I ever knew, so I continued throughout my life – even though it made me feel miserable- and of course more and more uptight and anxious.
I have become aware through studying the book A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life’s Purpose, by Eckhart Tolle that awareness and my negative ego are incompatible. This is one manifestation of the evolution of consciousness in my daily world.
Two nights ago after working a grueling day at the hospital, I came home to a scene of real chaos. My husband was on the phone yelling, my younger daughter was running around overexcited, and the dog was in my bathroom (where he is not allowed- having gone through the garbage – eww). It seemed like everyone was loud and yelling.
It made me cringe. I immediately felt the urge to react and yell like I used to–What the HELL is going on here?.. Why is she still awake?.. Why is the dog in my bathroom?.. What are you doing Bob!?? etc.
I became aware of this impulse and in that small space I was able to realize I did not want to add to the chaos. Yelling would provide a momentary emotional relief for me but ultimately make the situation worse.
So I did something entirely “new” for me.
I did not react. I took my daughter by the hand and quietly let her to her room and turned down her bed. Then I escorted my dog from my bathroom to our living room and settled him. Now I was ready to get myself ready for bed, while I stayed out of my husband’s business on the phone –I let him be. (atta girl!)
I slept peacefully that night! Thank you Eckhart! I am learning how to be happy again. I am learning to choose peace over drama when I can. This teeny tiny change feels so good and I invite you to give this a try in your life too!
I wish you peace,