Pressure- About to Burst :(


Haven’t been able to blog recently. So very busy playing catch- up. We were without power after Hurricane Sandy for a week and before that, I had my parents here for an extended stay for my Dad’s surgery and also several doctor appointments in the city for him before and after that.

In the interim my older daughter has been acting up like to the point where I wish I could just slap the shit out of her. She is so mouthy and disrespectful.

I know I was a handful for my parents, but wow, if I only knew then it would come back to bite me. And honestly I don’t think I was as mouthy but maybe I was. In any case, Karma is a bitch. :(

So then on top of that there has been tension and stress between my husband and me. We haven’t had the time or energy to focus on doing anything for “us”.

And my parents have to come back here to stay next week for my pressurefather’s second surgery. And then after that treatment starts for who knows how many weeks.

I have no food in the fridge, the house is a disaster, I have a knot in my neck like a vice. Etc, ad nauseum…

I just feel very edgy, tired, emotional, and I am easily upset lately.

I HAVE to remember to be good to myself. To take extra good care of me while I go through all this.

My anxiety has acted up, but thankfully not to the point where I was incapacitated…

Yesterday when I walked into work, even with listening to an audio recording to keep me calm and grounded, I found myself having a lot of bothersome anxiety symptoms and it really sucked.

I was floating outside my body with depersonalization and my social anxiety was in full force (at a level 10 out of 10), making it hard to talk or connect with anyone. What a way to start the day!

It was very uncomfortable, but I kept my anxious racing thoughts at bay the best I could and just continued to work despite how crappy I felt.

After a few hours into work I was fine. Of course I was happy when the anxiety went away and I was calm again.

Note to Self: Know that my anxiety will be triggered because this is such a long, drawn out stressful time. Take good care and do what I have to in order to be ok.

Remember that This Too Shall Pass.

How about you? How do you handle your anxiety when you are under pressure or going through a really stressful time in your life?

I wish you peace,
Jill G.

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7 Responses to Pressure- About to Burst :(

  1. Tonya says:

    Sorry you had such a rough week! I love how positive you stay! I really motivates me. I broke down and started the medication my doctor wanted me to take, feeling pretty bummed though about it, I know it’s only week one, but I don’t feel any different, actually a little worse! I was really hoping I would start to feel something by now. Any advice? Hope you have a better week! Take care, hugs!

  2. Kristy says:

    You are stronger than you give yourself credit for! Who wouldn’t have anxiety with a week like that? I think it is OK to say you are anxious because of the extreme stresses around you right now. I tell friends what I am going through – no need to put up the “everything is fine smiling face” all the time. Talking to others and journaling my thoughts helps ground me. I beef up my exercise too (extra walk at lunch time or in the evening or perhaps a yoga session in the evening or morning). It’s my way of telling my inner-self that I am taking positive steps to feel better. Hope the sun is shining on you this week!

    • JillG says:

      Thanks Kristy,

      Those are great tips! It does help me to get it all out- which is what I’ve done by blogging about it. I feel better today, thank God. :)

  3. maz says:

    Yep Jill all of that and I would have left my skin at the door. You really are doing great you just have to remind yourself how far you’ve come on this journey

    I’ve had a tough week with my symptoms especially at work on Friday thought I was going to faint infront of clients but I didn’t and got through the day. I reminded myself of the last time I felt like that and that it would pass

    Today I’m reminding myself that the can’t breathe symptom will also pass

    You have to give youself permission to be kind to youself and not to kick the s@@t out of the family. Try to float past their aggravation it’s just making you more antsy. You can sort them out when your in a better place yourself

    You take care and know I’m thinking of you and praying all will be well

    Stay strong
    Maz x

  4. Zoe says:

    So sorry to hear you are having a hard time. You certainly have a lot going on! Having no time, the house a mess, a disgruntled husband, a sassy teenager, and caring for your parents… no wonder you feel like exploding! What is that saying “When your outsides are a mess, your insides are a mess.” It is so true! Hugs to you :)

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