Comparing to Others- Why We Do It & How To Stop

perfect familyToday’s post is all about comparing to others– when you compare your insides to someone’s outsides- and what we can do to stop it.

It is tempting and dare I say common when someone suffers greatly from anxiety and panic attacks to compare their lot in life to others.

You see someone who appears to have it all- a good job, family, friends, stability… They look happy, even outgoing.

Don’t we all know at least one person like this? Someone who appears to have it easy?

We look at this person and think, Why can’t my life be like that?…Why must I be under the constant strain of debilitating anxiety?

Why indeed?

We think of how anxiety may have robbed us of months or even years of our lives and we get angry and sad all at once.

It is important to try to catch yourself when you are comparing to others. Comparing your situation in life to someone else’s. Know that you have no way of knowing what another person is going through. Or what that person may have ahead of them.

No one gets through life unscathed. Everyone at some point experiences pain and suffering. It is one of the sobering aspects of life. It is an equalizing fact that levels the playing field for everyone.

Your cross to bear may be anxiety. It is my cross to bear.

But- and this is important- I have learned that when I reign in this type of “the grass is always greener for someone else” thinking, I put myself in the best possible mindset to deal with the challenges of my life.

Falling into a negative thinking habit like comparing to others is just one more thing that you add into the mix. This can quickly turn into depression and despair and nothing good can ever come from this.

If you have to deal with anxiety- so be it. Do your best to deal with it:

-Put your blinders on and soldier through to the best of your ability.

-Use the anxiety self help tools that work for you.

– Spend a little time every day grounding yourself and connecting with your inner peace.

-Have tremendous loving compassion for yourself and your struggle.

And know that- bit by bit- you really will make great strides and learn to live happy joyous and free.

It has only been about 5 years of my life that my thinking has changed about this. I truly believe one of the reasons I remained crippled with anxiety and panic for so long (30 years) is because I was so fixated on comparing to others and felt so angry and depressed and closed off to any possibility of true healing.

I didn’t know I had any power in my situation. But today, by the grace of God, I know better.

If you can identify that you have fallen into the trap of comparing yourself to what you think someone else has, I urge you to stop.

Because you deserve better.

You have to believe you have what it takes to get better.

I do not have any magic powers or privilege that is helping me to get better. You and I are the same.

Why did I wait so long to really take action and seriously try to get better? The truth is I thought my situation was too severe. I thought I was a coward and that I couldn’t do it.  Isn’t that so sad?

So much of learning to overcome panic attacks is in your mindset. Do not self- sabotage by thinking your situation is unique and comparing to others like I did. The principles of anxiety recovery that are helping me to heal are universal and they work for everyone. Period.

I wish you peace,
Jill G.

If you are truly sick and tired of anxiety and panic- then do not waste even one more minute. Use the 60 Second Panic Solution to get a real handle on your panic attacks. And then you can get on with your life like I am. 🙂

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3 Responses to Comparing to Others- Why We Do It & How To Stop

  1. maz says:

    Nice one Jilly

    Yes we all know people with what seems a perfect life but hey as we all know life is not perfect

    Anxiety makes you think you’ve gone 10 round with Mike Tyson but what I forget is the time I haven’t I still compare myself thinking they are still calmer happier whatever. You’ve reminded me to be kind to myself as well as other

    Take care

    Luv Maz xxx

    • JillG says:

      The older i get the less I do compare myself to others, but this really plagued me in my youth. When anxious people do this, it only makes the situation seem worse. It is a mindset thing, I believe. Thanks Maz x

  2. maz says:

    I agree it’s a mindset. Gotta change mine

    Maz x

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