Secret Regrets Because of Anxiety


Last night my family and I attended an end of the year presentation and celebration for my high school age daughter who is taking advanced science courses. It was very nice and low key. What a bunch of brain power in those young kids- so wonderful!

It was a very happy, nice, family affair. All the kids were proud of their work and boy did they have good reason to be!

While I was there I thought about a secret regret I had a few years back, when my younger Daugherty was in 5th grade.

It was the end of the school year and there was a family night function where everyone sat in the auditorium and watched a slide show of the graduating 5th grade. At the time I was not in a good place with my anxiety.

My daughter was not into going. She didn’t care one way or the other. Going would mean I high school girlswould have to sit there without my husband since it took place at 6pm and he was still at work. It would have meant sitting there quite possibly with at least 4 of my neighbors who are in a tight clique and feeling left out and uncomfortable.

It would have meant dosing myself up with extra Xanax and trying to sit there and be ok while trying to hold in the anxiety.

So, my secret regret is: we didn’t go.

We should have gone. I felt awful about it.

I will never get that time back with my daughter.

Last night as we were all smiling and feeling so good as a family I felt that pang of regret that I missed out on that pivotal event in my other daughter’s life.

Some would say it’s not a big deal. My daughter didn’t even care.

But I cared. I should have forced myself to go. I have thought of that 5th grade family night numerous times over the past few years. That was one of the last things I avoided because of anxiety.

It’s secret regrets like this in my past that help me reaffirm every day that I will continue to do everything I can to overcome my social anxiety and live a full life. Today I am successfully coping with anxiety and I only wish I had started this sooner.

Do you have any secret regrets because of anxiety?

I wish you peace,
Jill G.

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4 Responses to Secret Regrets Because of Anxiety

  1. maz says:

    Have no regrets my friend you did you best on the day like we all do

    Be grateful how far you’ve come instead

    Maz

  2. Zoe says:

    I know exactly what you mean! I just sat through a 6th grade graduation complete with a slide show too :)
    The feelings of regret that I KNOW I will have if I skip an event are really what motivates me most of the time. I can try to rationalize it all I want but I still come back around to that same place – regret that I missed something that was important to one of my kids – just because of stupid anxiety. It makes me mad and keeps me fighting :)
    You have done wonderful and if your daughter said she didn’t care, just hope that she really meant that and let it go. There are many many more meaningful events in her life that you will be there for :)

    • JillG says:

      Yeah, I can’t go back and fix things I didn’t do because of anxiety, but I do use the kids as a motivator too. Every moment is precious.

      Zoe, haven’t been able to comment at your blog for awhile now, I try to sign in using Facebook and it still doesn’t work. I hope you see this. It used to be add name, email, url, comment, and now you have to sign in with Facebook. Maybe there is a different way you can have people add a comment to your blog?

  3. Zoe says:

    Hi Jill. I’m not sure why you are having trouble commenting. I have not made any changes. I just logged out and then posted a test comment to my last post and it let me just enter the name, email, comment info – without logging into facebook. Maybe try logging out of facebook completely before you go to my blog? If you figure it out let me know please!

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