I worked yesterday and it was one of those sweet times when you leave feeling “Job well done.” There was a patient in trouble and since I had experience with this type of patient crisis, I was one of the people who helped solve the problem, so to speak.
A lot of people were thanking me and it felt good to know that I have good nursing skills. I know I am a competent, reliable, proficient worker. I’m smart, work really well in emergency situations, and I love to help people. (Yes I am patting myself on the back here!) 🙂
It feels good to get better and be able to work and do the job I love and not be ruled by anxiety all the time.
And it feels good to remind myself of this today, for it was not really that long ago that I left my last hospital job.
I gave reasons to my employer and husband that satisfied both (heck it even satisfied me- child care issues, will work at home, etc.), but the real reason I left the job was I was over the edge with anxiety and panic attacks. I was tired of having to jack myself up on anxiety medication just to be able to show up for work.
And then have to take more into the shift because I could feel it wearing off.
I didn’t even admit this to myself until recently. Sometimes ignorance is bliss I guess.
Isn’t it funny how something like anxiety, even with all it’s horrible symptoms is really not too hard to disguise in public. In fact, unless I was being hospitalized for it, no one in my life could really appreciate how difficult it can be for me at any given time.
Getting better feels so good.
I will continue to do everything in my power to continue on my anxiety recovery. I never want to be at the point where I have to leave a job that I love again.
I was so good at my last job and it really broke my heart to realize that I had let anxiety ruin it for me.
I wish you peace,
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