I pulled my back out at the gym almost a week ago and it’s really thrown me into a tizzy. I’ve had to rest and lay around the house and even had to call in sick to work earlier this week. And last night I got in a stupid fight with my husband.
I am dreading this weekend…
I recognize that I’m in an anxiety trigger. I learned a long time ago that I am not at my best emotionally when I am Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired, or Sick (the acronym for this is HALTS). Well because of the back pain, I am Angry, Lonely, Sick. I’m Tired because I haven’t got a good night’s sleep in awhile because of course I’m not comfortable.
And while I’m not Hungry, you would never know it because I gained at least 3 pounds just stuffing my face laying on the couch watching mind numbing reality TV reruns. 🙁
So the cards are stacked against me. I feel like crap. The cards are definitely stacked against my husband.
I’m glad that I recognized today what a funk I’m in, because if I don’t create a plan to help me cope this weekend, I am screwed. My husband and I get into dumb arguments almost every weekend, and last weekend was no different.
Last night our really nasty argument sprang forth because I said Me instead of WE in a statement and I hurt his feelings. This escalated into us saying hurtful things to each other, like we should get a divorce and name-calling. It was real mature.
We apologized before we went to bed, but this is a huge shadow looming over the prospect of a happy and quiet weekend. :S
My husband and I have fallen into a really negative communication pattern lately and we just keep doing it over and over again. Either he or I will say something that ticks the other one off and then we just go off to the races. It had ruined many, many weekends. It’s ridiculous and it has to stop.
Last night I lay in bed not sleeping and looked at my journal from 2 years ago.
I know I have anger management issues related to my anxiety and my marriage, but I just had to see how things were back then.
I Noticed A Few Important Things That Will Help Me With This Stress & Anxiety Trigger I’m In
First, I was praying every day back then. I was going to church every weekend. Also, I was actively keeping a gratitude journal.
I haven’t done any of these 3 things recently except of course pray when I am desperate for help. 😉
So I have quite literally fallen off the wagon of good and common sense behaviors for my emotional health and for a healthy relationship with my husband.
Plan of Action for Anxiety Triggers to Get Me Through the Weekend
Definitely I will pray. This is a no brainier and something I just forgot to do because I am out of practice.
The other thing I will definitely do is break my day into small manageable chunks of time. I will divide the day into 2 hour time segments and be mindful of my thoughts and actions towards my husband.
If he says something that hurts my wittle feelings (or worse, pisses me off), I will choose to LET IT GO. This I can do. I can remember that the reward in letting a silly statement slide is peace. I have to ZIP IT and refuse to engage.
The only way out of this pattern is to break it. I know I can do it 2 hours at a time. While actively praying and playing nice with others.
I’m also very grateful that I have to work this afternoon. While I know I am at high risk for anxiety and panic attacks, I will meditate before I go in and ground myself to the best of my ability. I love to be busy and laying around was making me feel like I was seriously losing it.
Ok, I feel better now. Wish me luck! I hope you have a wonderful weekend!
I wish you peace,