I’m not a big fan of the phone. Sometimes I just cannot talk on the phone. I have a fear/anxiety of conversing on the phone with friends. When it comes to phone calls to my mom or sister or immediate family, I don’t have any problem. But when I have to talk to someone who I know casually or don’t talk to that much, I get anxiety.
Phone call to a friend when I feel lonely? It just ain’t gonna happen for me… It stinks because one of the best ways for me to reason out distorted thoughts is to talk it over with someone. I just find it hard to pick up the phone and initiate conversation. I tend to do better with email- I guess because I am not live and can edit my words and thoughts before I hit the send button. I definitely feel more in control with email.
My mother has been dropping little hints that she’d like me to give my Godfather a phone call. He called my house a few months ago (during the summer) and left a nice message. I never called him back. I feel kind of bad about it, but I haven’t seen the man in decades. He is really sweet and I should call him, but I just don’t really feel like it.
I shared that I reached out in recent years and re-acquainted myself with a few old friends who I cut myself off from when I was young, anxious, and angry back in the day. I did this as a way to heal and to bring back some of the things I lost along the way in my years of being anxious and isolated. Although I made amends and am on good terms with 3 people, I haven’t actively stayed in touch. They are just a phone call away. *Anxiety* The problem is they are a phone call away.
I have 3 cousins who I grew up with and never see anymore. They don’t reach out to me, that’s just the way they are, but it would be nice to know what’s going on in their lives. I still love them after all. If I didn’t have issues with anxiety, a phone call once in awhile would actually be really nice. The last time we all got together was at their father’s funeral 2 years ago. I stayed with them for 3 days and although it was sad, we did also have a lot of laughs reminiscing about the good ol’ days.
I also don’t like feeling that I am dependent on my mom and sister so much. Mostly my sister. She has a circle of friends she’s been with since childhood and she recently married her partner. We have a weekly phone call and sometimes I wonder if she thinks of me as not only her baby sister but also a burden. I know I was a burden to in my troubled youth, but I wonder if that is her perception of me now… (Ok, here I go over-thinking something again…)
I feel it would be a really good thing to make it a goal to be able to make a phone call, anxiety be damned. To be able to freely pick up the phone and call a friend or a cousin or whoever, just for a friendly chat. Like any other goal I set for myself, such as learning how to go to the gym, I will do it little by little, gently and with a lot of patience and self love.
I’m not looking to be one of those people who lives on the phone or has 3 hour conversations. I just think it would be really nice not to hesitate to pick up the phone when I have the urge to call someone. I don’t want to feel I cannot talk on the phone due to fear and anxiety. I want to be able to take 10 minutes and call my Godfather back and just say, “Hey, how are you?”
How about you? Do you get anxiety when you have to make a phone call?
I wish you peace,
ps.- Ok, I had to put my money where my mouth was with this. After I posted this I went to the gym and thought about it. I decided I had to start working on my phone anxiety today.
A few days ago one of my friends called and left a message on my cell phone. I had not returned her call. I am very happy to report I just got off the phone after a very nice phone call. I feel very loved and connected right now. Thank you God! Whew, that was a good start.
I also found a self hypnosis download that deals with this in case you are interested, called “Overcome Fear of the Phone” >> Click here for more information: Overcome Fear of the Phone.