2 Responses to New Mom? Social Anxiety Help, Tips & Resources

  1. Bird says:

    I appreciate the advice in this, but what is a mother to do when she doesn’t have much support at all? I am ALWAYS with my two kids, I don’t know anyone well enough or trust anyone enough to watch my kids. My mom is the only one really, and she just can’t help me very often. I cannot work because of severe anxiety and depression (both untreated for years now), so my husband does full time, and he always has the car. I don’t even have my license at this time. I also live in an inconvenient area where the roads right outside are busy and there aren’t any parks close enough to just walk to with two kids. I try expressing to my mom how debilitating these mental illnesses are, but it seems to me that she thinks I’m over exaggerating or just being lazy and my husband seems to understand, but he still doesn’t help me mentally or emotionally. We fight almost everyday. I feel dillusional with him, and from being cooped up ever since I got pregnant with our first child. I would love to have some independence, go to college, be able to drive my children places. But I don’t have resources, and the idea of actually doing those things scares me to death.
    I’m so desperate. All I want to do these data is sleep. I have no motivation for anything. I feel like my options are either to help myself live (and I don’t know where to start with that, my brain feels so stuck in a horrible fog) or help myself die.
    I don’t feel like much use. My eldest is now causing trouble all the time since I had the second baby.

    • JillG says:

      Hi Bird,

      I’m sorry you are suffering. It sounds to me like you have to help yourself. You say “I cannot work because of severe anxiety and depression (both untreated for years now)” which immediately stood out to me.

      Why are you not being treated? You obviously are under tremendous stress. Neither anxiety nor depression goes away on its own.

      I am suggesting that you see a doctor right away and tell him or her what you said here. You can get better. You owe it to yourself and to your 2 children.

      It sounds like you want wonderful things in your life and believe me- you can have these things. But you have to take that first step and work on getting better. Once you’re being treated and are not paralyzed by the anxiety you can start to venture out, and then continue to challenge yourself gently and on your own terms.

      Take care and let me know how it goes.

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