I was really stoked on Monday after I forced myself to go to the Al-Anon meeting I’d been avoiding because of my social anxiety and panic attacks.

It ended up going way better than I expected. My goal was to be able to sit through the meeting without bolting out the door. I not only sat through the meeting, I was able to share with the group.

It was the most magnificent, wonderful feeling!!

I’ve been riding on the tails of this triumph for the last 2 days in fact.

I’m bringing up again, not to brag, but to remind you that whenever you have a victory over your anxiety, be sure to celebrate it! Share it with someone. A happiness shared is doubled! You can always share with me

Every small step adds up. When I started writing this blog last January, I had just started my anxiety recovery program. I was also in severe Klonopin withdrawal. I knew I was in for a very long road, but my goal was to live a full life of quality and no longer be a slave to my anxiety disorder.

I’ve had lots of successes and lots of setbacks. And you heard about each and every one, lol

One of the keys to recovery from panic attacks and anxiety is to focus on the successes, and mark them. I like to keep a journal. Overall the successes do outweigh the setbacks. If you don’t write them down somehow, it can be hard to see that.

Margaret shared a wonderful success just the other day:

Jill, I have a real love hate feeling about public speaking In spite of panic and anxiety it is something I do and do well and actually enjoy in spite of feeling awful often. Last week was a perfect example. I was giving a talk to Elderhostel about our farm and my weaving. I’m talking using my slide show as prompts. At the same time I am feeling dizzy as I usually do, and started to have pains in my stomach and across my shoulders. So, at the same time I am talking about lettuce, I am screaming inside, “I’m having a heart attack” and, telling myself, “no your not, breathe, it’s just panic and the fact that you just ran up the stairs carrying a very heavy basket because you were late” (hate being late). Talked about schizoid. All 3 dialogues were going on at the same time. This is how I live. I refuse to give up doing things I enjoy because I get anxious, but it’s an endurance feat. Anyway, I finished the talk, didn’t faint (my big fear), didn’t have a heart attack, got lots of good questions and got stopped on the street a couple of hours later by several participants and told how much they enjoyed my talk. And NO ONE knew how anxious I felt.

This is a real triumph. Margaret is steadfast in refusing to give up what she enjoys (public speaking) just because she feels nervous, and I really applaud her for that. Not only did she finish her talk, she answered questions at the end and got lots of positive feedback. Margaret, I am so proud of you and Thank You for sharing this with us! What an inspiration!

Anxiety is such serious, gloomy business. It’s easy to want to just forget about it- and I get that. I am not saying to dwell on feeling crappy- not at all. What I am suggesting is do not let your victories and successes just pass you by. The fact that you have a success- no matter how small you think it is- is proof that you are getting better!

You have not only the right but the duty to be happy and successful.

-Norman Vincent Peale, Positive Thinking Every Day.

I wish you peace,

Jill G.

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