The Truth

Last night I went to the high school open house to meet my daughter’s new teachers. My husband wasn’t going to be able to join me and I started to get a lot of anxiety about 2 hours before I had to go. The anxiety kind of crept up on me while I was preparing dinner. When I found myself wondering if maybe I should skip the whole thing, that’s when I knew I had to do something.

I went up into my bedroom and took out my books. I comforted myself by reading p 157-166 in Peace From Nervous Suffering, where Dr. Weekes takes me by the hand and leads me right into a panic attack inducting situation. These pages are stapled together and have gone with me in my purse on many a journey. I also re-read parts of Hope and Help for Your Nerves.

I focused on doing abdominal breathing as I was getting ready, and I used a lot of positive affirmations. On the way to the open house I prayed.

I went to the open house and it was *fine*. I had no anxiety or panic whatsoever. I was a little jittery because of all the stupid adrenalin from before hand, but that was all.  I met all of Sam’s new teachers and chatted with friends and acquaintances I saw.

When I left the high school, I was on cloud 9. Not because it was that spectacular, but because I went despite the negative thoughts I had beforehand. I was triumphant over anxiety- Again!- and man did it feel good.  Heck, it still feels good and it’s the next day. :)

For the greater part of my life, anxiety has become a nasty habit. Until I can break this habit for goo, I have to remind myself daily of the truth, when it’s so easy to believe the lies-the negative self talk

Lie :: I am such a mess

Truth :: While it feels like I have to really work at it to do things lots of people wouldn’t give a second thought to. The truth is my body is used to producing a TON of adrenalin whenever I have to face a new situation. I have panic disorder. I am working on myself and my recovery every day. No excuses, this is the truth.

Lie :: My children are suffering because I have anxiety

Truth :: My children know the deal with me and my ‘condition’. They know I read a lot of books, blog about it, and take medication. They know their mom has anxiety and they love me anyway. I think in the long run they have learned lessons in honesty and empathy. They openly share their feelings with me. We communicate. Dare I say this will prove to have been good for us all, in the long run?

Lie :: I hate the way I am

Truth :: I hate the way I feel when I am anxious. I LOVE the fact that I have my family and this beautiful life. I am extremely blessed to have been given the gifts of family, friendship, all my senses, a healthy body, and the ability to recover from anxiety and panic attacks. My life is a JOY.

Lie :: I’m a bitch

Truth :: When I am having a bad day because of my anxiety, I get emotional. I get cranky. The smallest things can set me off, as easily as the big things. I can snap at my kids and bark at my husband. I’m not proud of this, nor do I care to make excuses. Instead, when I feel better, I apologize. I make behavioral amends by remembering not take out my anxiety on them.

TRUTH ::

God “will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear, but along with the temptation he will also make the way out in order for you to be able to endure it.”—1 Cor. 10:13.

What is your truth? How can you use your truth to find peace in your day today?

I wish you peace,
Jill G.

Want to know how I’m doing so well after suffering from anxiety and panic attacks for so long? I recommend and use Panic Away. Click on the link to learn more. Get started today and reclaim your life from fear.
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2 Responses to The Truth

  1. Amber says:

    Jill, I like how you opened up this “It feels like I have to work hard at something someone else wouldnt give a second thought”. I feel this way all the time. I look at my fiance all the time and think ” wow he is so “normal”, panic attacks would never cross this guys path, how could he be so lucky, etc” Whereas my mind is consistanly thinking, feels like I never have a moment where I am not thinking..I appreciate you putting the Bible verse from Corinthians. I have a hard time accepting my panic disorder but try to remind myself that God has a greater purpose for my life and maybe he is going to use my years of struggling with panic attacks to his glory. I pray everyday God would take this away, but in His time is perfect, so until then I wait.
    -Amber

    • JillG says:

      Hi Amber,
      I agree. Who knows why you or I have to struggle with panic and anxiety while others don’t? I used to pray this verse all the time- it is what we say right before communion in the Catholic church “Lord I am not worthy to receive You, but only say the word and I shall be healed.” Prayer does definitely help.
      Hugs,
      Jill

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