I was in such a bad mood this morning.
This weekend was weird. My husband got a new video camera for the family. It was a big deal because we’ve really needed one for a long time.
So he brought the new camera home on Friday and he and our daughter tried to figure out how to operate it.
Looong story short, the camera wasn’t working properly and he had to drive back into New York to get a new one on Sunday.
He spent hours in the interim trying to troubleshoot it, researching it on Google, etc, ad nauseum.
He was in a bad mood all weekend because of this stupid video camera. He was *consumed* with this camera for 2 whole days. I thought he was making a huge deal out of nothing, really. I mean, it was expensive- I get it. If you think it’s broken, just take the damn thing back and get a new one.
His bad mood wasn’t about me, but I admit, I did take it personally.
He called me this morning from work just to check in like he always does. He was back to his usual cheerful mood. And that’s when I noticed what a horrible mood I was in.
I was really angry- I didn’t feel like working. And I guess because of how I’m hard wired, I also felt this anxiety and uneasiness. It was really uncomfortable.
I was having all kinds of really bad thoughts, I was indulging in the dreaded negative self talk. I was feeling isolated and alone- thinking no one understands me, least of all my husband. In short, I was really on the emotional pity pot about my anxiety filled life–Oh whoa is me and all that– all because I allowed myself to be affected by my husband’s mood over the weekend.
I had a strong urge to go lay down on the couch– and that’s when I knew I had to do something.
I tried to determine why I was feeling so cruddy and anxious. I realized I was sabotaging myself and my day with my negative thinking. Nothing about my life is “bad”- my husband was upset for 2 days and the negativity was contagious. I sucked it up like a sponge.
I checked in with my girlfriend and told her what was going on, and I got my negatives out. Then my sister called and I shared about my feelings with her as well.
I feel better now.
And now I’m going to do something nice for myself. I’m going to check out some yoga classes at our local gym today. I haven’t really been doing much exercise lately besides walking my dog- and doing yoga for anxiety always helps me.
In closing, if you notice your anxiety is starting to flare up for no apparent reason, try to see if you can trace it to an event or someone close to you. If someone you love is in a crappy mood, don’t take it personally.
Do something to get your negatives out. Share about how you’re feeling, either with a friend, or on an anxiety forum.
And then do something nice for yourself. Write in your journal. Buy yourself a little present. Get some exercise- get out and enjoy the beautiful day if you can. That’s what I’m going to do. 🙂
I wish you peace,