Why Anxious People Use False Safety Behaviors & What You Can Do Instead

anxiety safety behaviors

Today we’re going to talk about anxiety safety behaviors, how they make you feel better in the moment, why they really don’t help us in the long run. And finally what to do instead of relying on them to keep anxiety at bay…

A safety behavior is something you do to help yourself when you feel your anxiety is getting out of control. Or something you do to prevent your anxiety from getting out of hand.

Anxiety happens because you have a release of stress hormones and you become afraid of the symptoms you feel. You employ a safety behavior and the anxiety dies down.

What you never understood is that the anxiety always naturally dies down on its own. Your body only has so much adrenaline and stress hormones. So even if you never reached for the gum, the drink, or the pill, your anxiety would have naturally dissipated on its own.

My safety behaviors with anxiety started back when I was in college… Continue reading

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Stop Negative Thinking – When your mind is the enemy

You cant live a positive life thinking negative thoughts. Dwell on the positive.

My mind has been such an enemy to me lately. All week it seems I have been struggling with negative and anxious thoughts, particularly first thing in the morning, which is when I feel most vulnerable.

The mind is very very clever and knows what thoughts to feed you to make you upset. Once you are taken over by the thoughts, it can be hard to come out of it. It took me almost a week to feel better and get my inner calm back today. Continue reading

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Anxiety Help Between Friends – a balm that heals

good friends are like stars you cant always see them but theyre always there

Being able to relate to others who “get it” is one of the things that helps me deal so much. I don’t have anyone in my day to day life that understands or experiences what I go through, which is why I write this blog.

Let’s face it, when anxiety rears its ugly head, or when you have to deal with stupid anxiety for any length of time, it affects your daily life, and so helps to have a friend to turn to. Here is a recent email discussion between Kathleen and me: Continue reading

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Feeling better after last weekend

theres always a rainbow after the rain

After my acute episode of social anxiety at the retirement party last Saturday, I was more than just a little freaked out at the prospect of returning to work on Monday. I wondered if anyone noticed me acting frozen in fear and hardly being able to talk or him being weird and randomly disappearing. I guess I was just afraid of the aftermath, since my experience was so intensely crappy! Continue reading

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Social Anxiety SUCKS! – my rant :(

social anxiety sucksOk then, well my last post about anxiety setbacks was obviously written just for little ol me. Maybe it was a foreshadowing of things to come because last night was absolutely fucking horrendous and bizarre beyond belief. I gotta spill here because I don’t know what else to do.

If you detest obscenities and pity parties, please don’t read this, because I’m not holding back. Continue reading

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Why You MUST Be Kind to Yourself After an Anxiety Setback

anxiety setback

A reminder to you that when you are having a setback with anxiety and things seem to feel all wrong, how important it is to be kind and gentle to yourself.

Yesterday at work I was off my A game. For whatever reason, I slipped back into feeling a lot of unease and what I would call borderline generalized anxiety for most of my shift.

It didn’t actually get to the point of being unbearable, and I didn’t have an all-out panic attack, but I definitely didn’t feel as well as I usually do.

It was very unpleasant. But on another level, I was ok with it. Continue reading

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Quick Anxiety Self Help Tip – To use when things are good

be the person you needed

This morning I was in the grocery store and I was absolutely present and calm. It was so nice :) Grocery shopping has been a challenge for me as an adult with anxious tendencies as there are so many triggers for my social anxiety and ways to get trapped– whether it be in line, or in a crowded aisle or trapped in small talk.

Today I have quick Anxiety Help Tip about How to Overcome Fear of a situation that has triggered anxiety for you in the past. This works especially if the situation is unavoidable, and you occasionally or frequently experience fear or anxiety when you think about it or do it.

This could include things such as sitting in class, driving, shopping, being at work, elevators, bridges, waiting in lines and so on. For me today it is grocery shopping… Continue reading

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Nonresistance and Panic Attacks – watching fear melt away

nonresistance

“Nonresistance is the key to the greatest power in the universe.” – Eckhart Tolle

I am learning that this is even true with very strong negative emotions like anxiety. Last weekend I went to a Broadway show with 2 of my girlfriends. This was a pretty big deal for me. Sitting in classrooms, theaters, church, lecture halls, etc., has been a huge panic attack trigger for me ever since high school.

It’s been years since I’ve been to a play with anyone besides my family, hence no “safe person” in the event of a panic attack. And last spring when I went to a show with Bob, we were in the front row and I had so many panic attacks we had to change seats… Continue reading

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