Stop Anxiety FAST with Simple EMDR

I’m really having fun learning simple but effective ways to quickly reduce anxiety, and today I have another good one for you!stop anxiety emdr

Today we will do a modified version of EMDR. All you need is some anxiety and your 2 eyes.

EMDR stands for Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing. It is used most by therapists to help patients with anxiety, phobias, depression and PTSD. Here is a short animated video that explains how it works:

First you call up what is bothering you and making you anxious. Put whatever it is vividly in your mind.

Next move your eyes back and forth, back and forth.

In the video it says to go rapidly, but when I did it with a therapist last fall, when I do it on myself, and when I do this on my patients who are anxious, I go slower. I tend to get dizzy and I find going slow works very well.

By moving your eyes back and forth again and again, it helps your focus move out of the emotional part of your brain, and back into the rational side of your brain.

The effect is you notice that your anxiety becomes much much less. Whatever was bothering you loses it’s emotinal charge.

When the emotional charge is lessened, the anxiety goes away. *Poof!* 🙂

You will notice that this works very quickly.

I have used this very successfully on my patients. I did a session with one woman who was so anxious before her surgery, she almost cancelled it. This poor woman desperately needed her knee replaced, but she hadn’t been to the doctor in decades and was panicked on her day of surgery.

I now routinely do this with my patients post anesthesia when they wake up anxious. Patients with histories of anxiety or PTSD often wake up agitated, and this helps calms them very nicely.

It also helps me when I’m anxious, so I know it can help you too! Give this a try the next time you are anxious! If you are at work, just go right into the bathroom for a quick break.

I’ll be sharing even more FREE, super easy tips going forward. 🙂

Let me know what you think!

I wish you peace,
Jill G.

In case you missed the other quick anxiety reducing tips I shared recently, here they are:

FAST Anxiety Relief With EFT Tapping 

NLP Timeline Technique: 2 Minutes to Stop Anxiety Fast 

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If you loved this post, please Like and Share it on social media. Thank you! 🙂

Here are some popular articles from Panic Free Me that may help you today:

Self Treatment for Social Anxiety

Successfully Coping with Anxiety – The Basics

And here are some helpful resources I have put together for you:

Free Anxiety Tips & Help

Hypnosis Downloads for Anxiety & Phobias

Recommended Anxiety Products That Work

Recommended Anxiety Books

Posted in Panic Attacks, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Social Anxiety Disorder | Tagged , , | 2 Comments

FAST Anxiety Relief With EFT Tapping

Did you like the EFT Tapping video in my recent post? EFT is very useful for general anxiety and social anxiety. It’s very easy to do and very effective!

EFT stands for Emotional Freedom Technique. It is a form of energy healing that combines Neuro Linguistic Programming with acupressure. It works by tapping on acupressure points that release feel-good hormones (including dopamine and oxytocin).

While you tap on the acupressure points, you talk your way out of a stressful situation. So as you do a few rounds of tapping, you start to feel better and better.

Tip: Like any good anxiety busing tool, the more you use it, the better you get at it. So do it at least daily, and whenever you feel anxious, stressed, or overwhelmed.

I’ve been doing so well with my tapping that I use it “one the spot” and just free form my words. I’ve used it in my anxiety trigger times: in the morning, on weekends when I feel stressed, before work and in the bathroom when I’m having a hard day. I’ve even used tapping to help soothe my anxiey when I wake up in the middle of the night.

The great thing is, it only takes maybe 3 – 5 minutes to go from feeling anxious to feeling better!

Remember: When your mind believes that you are safe, there is no longer a fight/flight/freeze response. So do the tapping for a few minutes, until your mind feels safe.

Here are the EFT tapping points: 

EFT Tapping Points

image credit: www.essentialhealingarts.com

 

Next is an EFT Tapping for Anxiety script that you can use. Go through the tapping points in order while you repeat the script out loud.

Note, you only have to do the karate chop once, in the very beginning)

EFT Tapping Script for Anxiety

(Karate chop) Even though I feel anxious, I love, honor, and accept myself.

(Eyebrow) Even though I feel anxious, and I don’t like feeling this way, I love, honor, and forgive myself.

(Side of Eye) I forgive myself, and I forgive anyone else who may have contributed to me having these feelings.

(Under Eye) I don’t like feeling this way, and I know that I am ready and fully able to heal.

(Under Nose) I am ready to heal, and feel the peace and calm that comes naturally and abundantly to me.

(Chin) I was born feeling safe and complete.

(Collarbone) And even if I don’t feel it very much right now, the truth is, I am always safe and complete.

(Under Arm) Take a deep breath.

(Top of Head) I am always safe and complete.

(Eyebrow) More and more I feel and know that I am always safe and ok.

(Side of Eye) And I feel the energy of those who love me.

(Under Eye) This energy goes through my being, and heals me.

(Under Nose) I am healing on a cellular level, from all feelings of overwhelm and feeling anxious and unsafe.

(Chin) Thank you Lord, for the abundance of healing in my life.

(Collarbone) The abundance of safety and warmth and love..

(Under Arm) The abundant ease of well-being.

(Top of Head) I see myself happy and at ease with others.

(Eyebrow) And I feels the bonds of family and friends.

(Side of Eye) And when I remember and feel that connection to others, I know that I’m ok.

(Under Eye) Fear just melts away, and I feel even more connected.

(Under Nose) It feels so good.

(Chin) I am a precious child of the universe, and connected to all life forms.

(Collarbone) I am grateful to remember this connection.

(Under Arm) For it is only because I forgot that I became anxious in the first place.

(Top of Head) I forgot that I was safe and that I was ok.

(Eye brow) Thank you Lord, for helping me remember.

(Side of Eye) I am supported and fully open to all the healing energy of the universe.

(Under Eye) Flowing though me, and healing me completely on a cellular level.

(Under nose) I feel so good and so relaxed.

(Chin) My life is rich and prosperous in health and well-being.

(Collarbone) Thank you for the peace, the stillness, and the joy that I feel right now.

(Under Arm) This peace resides in me forever.

Take a deep breath.

“““

Here’s to your Tapping Success! 🙂

I wish you peace,

Jill G.

PS. If you struggle with social anxiety, here is an effective program that harnesses the power of EFT: Check out the Social Confidence System.

Social Confidence System

If you loved this post, please Like and Share it on social media. Thank you! 🙂

Here are some popular articles from Panic Free Me that may help you today:

Self Treatment for Social Anxiety

Successfully Coping with Anxiety – The Basics

And here are some helpful resources I have put together for you:

Free Anxiety Tips & Help

Hypnosis Downloads for Anxiety & Phobias

Recommended Anxiety Products That Work

Recommended Anxiety Books

Posted in Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Social Anxiety Disorder, Healthy Lifestyle | Tagged | Leave a comment

How To Manifest Money When Your Bank Account Has Shrunk

I mentioned recently how my husband’s job has been sort of drying up. My work as a nurse helps, but it doesn’t cover our nut. Scarcity and money worries are something I’ve been dealing with a lot over the past year.I am abundant

To be honest, I’ve always had trouble in this area- trouble feeling safe and comfortable with money. I think that’s because growing up, my cousins used to tell me and my sister and brother that we were poor. It wasn’t true, but we believed them.

So when our bank account shows a lot less than usual, that is a real trigger for me to get anxious and feel out of control.

Today I wanted to share what has been helping me. Specifically I have been using the Law of Attraction, EFT Tapping, and Judge Your Neighbor Worksheets- to manifest money and wealth. So let’s dive right in- let this help you today!

1. The Law of Attraction

We have had discussions here about using the Law of Attraction, and how I’ve been using it to heal anxiety in my life.

Part of my spiritual practice is to sit in silence and think upon the things that I wish to manifest in my life. To see, feel, and really envision it.

I created this collage that covers all that areas that I am working on: Mental and Physical Health, Love of Family and Friends, and Material Comfort/ Wealth. I have it on my home computer and also on my phone so I can look at it whenever I need to.Law of Attraction for health, love, friendship, wealth and healing

As a reformed Catholic, formerly filled with guilt, let me just put it out there: It is OK to wish to attract material abundance and all good things in your life!

When you apply the Law of Attraction to your life, the energy you create is what you put out into the world. So what you put out comes back to you.

My practice with this collage is to pull it up on my desktop or on my phone when I have a minute or 2 and just focus on the images and what they represent for me.

I picture myself feeling abundantly healthy, with abundant ease of well-being, with abundant love of family and friends, and abundant wealth and money to make life comfortable and easy.

I do this in a meditative state, taking slow, mindful breaths. Relaxing into the sweetness of the feelings and images.

When you wish to attract abundance, you must learn to recognize the abundant universe all around you. And this simple practice helps.

2. EFT Tapping

This video is so helpful. It is uses EFT Tapping to shift your mindset from lack to prosperity. In this video Brad Yates (who is wonderful by the way, do check him out) explains how money is always flowing. It flows to us and away from us- much like the waves on the shore.

This exercise helps clear any blocks around the areas of receiving money. Give it a try!

Tapping for Wealth. I am a money magnet, I am a money magnet! Oh yes I am 🙂 I have been doing this EFT Tapping video daily and as often as needed.

For more intensive work on clearing money blocks, please check out the program Brad did with Dr. Joe Vitale of “The Secret” HERE.

3. Judge Your Neighbor Worksheets.

I have done numerous Judge Your Worksheets around money, since those stressful thoughts have been coming up again and again.

Here is an example of one:

Stressful thought: We don’t have enough money.

Is it true?

Yes.

How do I react when I believe this thought that we don’t have enough money?

Watch Bob’s spending and judge him harshly in my head. Urges to yell out at him and make him send the letter to his client. Notice he spends money casually and frequently and that makes me feel contracted and scared. Nickel and dime my spending. Feel put out. Feel miserly, feel resentful of others who seem to be doing well, judge everyone. Judge Mom and Dad, my sister, girls at work with retired husbands who travel. Think it’s all Bob’s fault. Compare and think all are better off than me. Think of things I want to buy and don’t.

Who would you be without this thought?

I would be present and care free in this area. I would be calm. Peaceful.

Turnarounds:

We DO have enough money

Proof: The bills are paid. There is some money in the bank.

Proof: We still both work.

Proof: We made some money in the stock market this year. My parents gave us money for Christmas.

Money is not my business.
My THINKING is my business.

Yes! That feels much more true!

The universe is abundant. There is abundance all around me. I only have to open my eyes to see it all around.

I am provided for in this moment. I have enough money in this moment. What I have is enough.
I am grateful for all that I have.

Turnaround: My thinking doesn’t have enough money.

Yes, it’s my thinking that attaches to the story of dread and fear and lack of money. It separates me from Bob, from my family, from my friends, from humanity when I attach to the story of not having enough money.

Tip: To learn more about Judge Your Neighbor Worksheets, see this site (it is free): http://thework.com.

Highly recommended reading (this book is on my nightstand) : Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life

Results of Doing These 3 Things: Money did show up!

I found someone’s wallet in my grocery cart the other week. It was a nice Tory Burch wristlet. I opened it to see if there was some way to contact the owner. And man, that wallet was FILLED with  a stack of cash- and they were big bills!

I had no thought to take it of course, but it made me laugh out loud. I am a money magnet! There was the proof! 🙂

When I gave the wallet over to the store manager, I was happy and lighthearted. I could just imagine how relieved the wallet’s owner would be when she got her stuff back!

The big bill that miraculously shrank in half

Feeling the immense weight of paying for my kids’ college tuition the other week, I went online to pay the bill for the semester. Before I sat down to do this, I did the tapping exercise and also had done a Judge Your Neighbor Worksheet on my stressful thoughts.

So while I was scared, I was not in a horrible space emotionally when I sat down.

But Imagine my surprise and delight when the bill was less than half of what it usually is!

I could never make this up! I thought it was a mistake. How in hell could the bill be slashed in half for no apparent reason??

I called the school and spoke to someone who put me on hold to investigate. Seems my daughter dropped a class and they pro-rated this and credited something else. I couldn’t follow what the lady was saying. But the bill was absolutely correct.

I paid that bill with so much gratitude. Never have I been so happy to pay a college bill! 🙂

And the best part of all- the terror and fear around money went away

By using these little practices- that is by doing the EFT Tapping, calling up and focusing on the Law of Attraction, and by doing Judge Your Neighbor Worksheets on stressful thoughts around money, I put some space around the fear.

Quite literally, I can say the immense terror I had been plagued with has gone. Oh my goodness I am so grateful! It has been replaced with a knowing, a restful peace in the knowledge that I am abundantly provided for at all times.

Also, I was grateful to really investigate the concept of “Enough.” There is always “enough.” (MORE than enough, actually).

Enough air to breathe, enough food to eat, enough water to drink and bathe, enough light to see, enough heat and electricity to warm the house, enough clothes to wear… Enough love to go around…

And yes, enough money to live and be ok!

The universe (or life, or God, whatever you want to call it) is abundant. And I know that just because I haven’t always had the mindset to appreciate it, the universe is always providing for me. (And for you!)

One thing I know for sure- this is a MUCH healthier way to live life, even if there is little money coming in at the moment.

This energy of feeling good and cared for and at peace also helps my husband. He seems to be in a really good and creative space. He is thinking of all different things he will do if and when his present job goes.

With good energy in our house and hearts, we will go forward and succeed and continue to be ok.

A lack of money isn’t really the problem. It’s a symptom of a problem. We’ve forgotten who we are. We are connected to infinite source. And when you’re feeling that connection, you have plenty of abundance and money for what you want and need. And you know that it’s ok. -Brad Yates

And I know this – if the fear comes back again, I know I can continue to do these little practices to send it away! So grateful!

And you, do you feel safe and provided for in times of financial stress? If not, I know you can manifest money and wealth in your life using one of these simple but effective tools! I’d love to hear your thoughts on the subject!

I wish you peace,

Jill G.

For more intensive work on clearing money blocks, please check out the program Brad did with Dr. Joe Vitale of “The Secret” HERE.

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PS. If you loved this post, please Like and Share it on social media. Thank you!

Here are some popular articles from Panic Free Me that may help you today:

Self Treatment for Social Anxiety

Successfully Coping with Anxiety – The Basics

And here are some helpful resources I have put together for you:

Free Anxiety Tips & Help

Hypnosis Downloads for Anxiety & Phobias

Recommended Anxiety Products That Work

Recommended Anxiety Books

Posted in Stress Management, Healthy Lifestyle | Tagged , | Leave a comment

Undoing The Thought: Anxiety Ruins My Life

question your thoughts and fear leavesI woke up agitated and anxious this morning. This is not uncommon for me at this time in my life. At the ripe hour of 5:30 am I couldn’t take it anymore so I went downstairs to the computer. I went to do a trusted Judge Your Neighbor Worksheet to undo the thoughts that were making me sick.

I will hold this belief up against the 4 questions of The Work of Byron Katie.

Let me show you how, by using 4 Simple Questions and then finding Turnarounds, I was able to set myself free of a belief that was causing me much pain and mental anguish.

My hope is that, by seeing this simple process here, you will be inspired to use The Work on your own limiting beliefs – about anxiety, stress, worry, or anything that is causing you to suffer.

This is a simple way to find peace and freedom! And freedom from suffering is our birthright! 🙂

1. Who angers, irritates, saddens, or frustrates you and why?
I am angry at anxiety because it ruins my life

2. What do you need them to do in order for you to be ok?
I need anxiety to go away forever.

3. What is it that they should or shouldn’t do, be, think or feel?
I shouldn’t wake up with anxiety.

4. What do you think of them? Make a list.
Anxiety is cruel. It takes the joy out of my life. It makes everything hard.

5. What is it that you don’t want to experience with that person again?
I don’t ever want to wake up with anxiety again.

Anxiety ruins my life.
Is it True? No

How do you react when you believe the thought?
Hopeless. Sick in gut. Negative thoughts bombard me, images of past and future. About me, my life, work, mom and dad, the girls, Bob, my sister, Buddy, the neighbors, how mornings are so hard. My pain body is 100% activated, I feel overwhelmed. Images of past taking Sam as a baby in to Dr. Levine, going there when I was pregnant, feeling sad about that. Feel the anxiety in my lower abdomen and wonder how it will go away, notice it keeps coming back.

Who would you be without the thought?
Still. Taking a breath. In this moment, peace. Hear the Tap tap tap of my fingers on the keyboard. It’s now 6am on a Sunday morning. Just here in peace with no story. Looking at my hands.

Turnarounds (Find examples for each turn around that is or could be as true or truer.)

Anxiety builds my life. (Doesn’t ruin my life)
Example: I’ve learned to feel the feeling and watch it. To witness it. As Eckhart Tolle teaches, who put that feeling there? To watch it without making it a story.

Example: I’ve learned to question the thoughts that cause the feeling. To undo the thoughts like now doing a Judge Your Neighbor Worksheet. And the anxiety natually falls away. With such ease…

Example: I’ve learned to cross over into the other brain hemisphere (from being emotional to being logical) when it takes hold. Via looking left and right, heart breathing, exercise, tapping, expanded awareness and eyes in the back of my head, hypnosis, or doing the Time Line exercise.

Example: I’ve taken the anxiety and used it to move forward. I learned to function with it. On every level in my life.

Example: I can take medication any time.There is nothing stopping me. Ever.

Turnaround: My thinking ruins my life.

Yes, thoughts come about my life, my work, my family, they come with images of past and future and I attach to them and I can’t relax. I can’t handle it. My world becomes hell and my life is ruined in that moment.

I need anxiety to go away forever.

Is it true? Yes.

Can you absolutely know it’s true that you need anxiety to go away forever?

Well, I guess if I had to know in the highest sense, if i had to really know for sure that it would be for my highest good and for the highest good of humanity, I would have to say no.

No.

I’m thinking of that Rupert Spira video I saw about why are we so afraid of this little feeling?

How do you react when you believe the thought?
When I believe this thought, I am in an endless abyss. I can never make anxiety go away forever so I am in complete and utter hell, and the only temporary escape is to take pills all the time and live in a very careful way.

Who would you be without the thought?

Just sitting here in peace. Feeling my abdomen relaxed so much already. Feel so much peace from just investigating these untrue thoughts. So grateful!

Turnaround:
I need my thinking to go away forever.

This is more true.So so so true! I need my thinking and attachment to the stories to go away forever. This is the way out of anxiety forever.

I shouldn’t wake up with anxiety.

Is it true?
No.

How do you react when you believe the thought?

I feel exhausted and yet I can’t rest. I cant relax. I just lay there miserable. I feel hopeless and I slept like shit on top of it.

Who would you be without the thought?
I would have some saneness, some clarity of mind, some space around the anxiousness. In that space, I could feel the feeling, and have the wherewithal to do tapping (or something else out of my toolbox to help calm me, and then a Jude Your Neighbor Worksheet.

Turnaround:
I should wake up with anxiety

Proof or examples:

Because I do. It’s what is for now.

It is morning, it’s a weekend, I have a lunch planned with friends today, I am sensitive. For now, it’s the way of it. Until it’s not.

I had anxious thoughts and I attached to them. I had images in my head and I attached to them. That is why I should wake up with anxiety.

Turnaround:
I shouldn’t wake up with thinking….And think that I shouldn’t have anxiety.

Anxiety is cruel.

Turnaround:
My thinking is cruel. Anxiety is just a feeling. It is benign. My thinking is cruel and merciless when it attaches to the story of anxiety is cruel and it shouldn’t be happening and it’s ruining my life.

Anxiety takes the joy out of my life.

Turnaround:
My thinking takes the joy out of my life.

Anxiety makes everything hard.

Turnaround:
My thinking makes everything hard.

I don’t ever want to wake up with anxiety again.

Turnaround:
I’m willing to wake up with anxiety again.

Why? Because it could happen. It could happen tomorrow. Then I can do a Judge Your Neighbor worksheet again and set myself free again.

Thank you Lord. 🙂

I hope you can see from my example how it’s not anxiety that causes the suffering. It’s THE STORY we weave around the situation and believe that causes the suffering.

And once we loosen our grip on that story, the story itself doesn’t feel so real, so powerful anymore. And naturally then, the anxiety and all the drama around it starts to naturally fade away.

“A thought is harmless unless we believe it. It’s not our thoughts, but our attachment to our thoughts, that causes suffering. Attaching to a thought means believing that it’s true, without inquiring. A belief is a thought that we’ve been attaching to, often for years.” – Byron Katie

Here are some other posts about using The Work that you will want to read:

How the Mind Twists Reality into Hell- And The Way Back to Peace

How to Notice When Your Thinking is Distorted

Doing Byron Katie’s The Work for Panic Attacks

I wish you peace,

Jill G.

Resources for you:

To learn more about The Work, see this site (it is free): http://thework.com.

Highly recommended reading (this book is on my nightstand) : Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life

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PS. If you loved this post, please Like and Share it on social media. Thank you!

Here are some popular articles from Panic Free Me that may help you today:

Self Treatment for Social Anxiety

Successfully Coping with Anxiety – The Basics

And here are some helpful resources I have put together for you:

Free Anxiety Tips & Help

Hypnosis Downloads for Anxiety & Phobias

Recommended Anxiety Products That Work

Recommended Anxiety Books

Posted in Panic Attacks, Panic Disorder, Generalized Anxiety Disorder | Tagged , | Leave a comment

How to Make Eye Contact When You Have Social Anxiety

Do you ever have trouble making eye contact?how to make eye contact

Humans are social animals. We have a want and need to be with others. And when that sense of connection is lacking or missing because of social anxiety, we feel bad. Social anxiety can make it very hard to feel that natural sense of belonging we were born with.

But don’t despair. Today we’re going to talk about how to take that first step to get you out of your social anxiety shell. I promise if you do this, it will really help you be more natural and relaxed around others.

I saw this posted on Facebook last weekend:
The young man feels awkward at a party he was at. So what does he do to help manage his discomfort? He focuses in on his phone and feels terrible about it afterwards.

In order to feel better, you have to focus outwards

Whether he realizes it or not, he is using his phone as a safety behavior (also known as an avoidance behavior). As he looks into the phone, he sends a message to those around him that he is otherwise engaged, and not available for socializing.

This keeps him “safe” or “off the hook” in the short term, but does nothing to help him going forward.

What I have learned over the years is that you have to practice initiating positive social contact. And one of the easiest and most natural ways to do this is to make eye contact.

This may sound small, but any socially anxious person will tell you it’s not. When you are socially anxious, you have a tendency to focus inwards on what you are thinking and how crappy you are feeling.

Part of the stories we tell ourselves is that others are watching and judging us. And one of the ways we unconsciously keep the anxiety going is that we stay focused inwards and we don’t look at others. For me I used to actually avoid making eye contact.

This reinforces that looking at others is unsafe, and the avoidance behavir will then continue.

It is much healthier and kinder (to yourself and to the world around you) to start making eye contact. If you haven’t done it in awhile you can Start by Doing it Afraid. Look at someone as you pass them by. Give a little smile.

Last fall I had a setback where I became very afraid to fly. I did a lot of work to help myself and the flight to Aruba was an overwhelming success. However, once I made it safely to my destination, I was scared the fear would come back on the return trip.

Because of this lingering doubt, I wanted to prove to myself that this is a friendly universe. Including all the people in it!

So while I was on my vacation I conducted a little experiment: Every morning as I walked along the beach, I made eye contact with and said hello to every stranger I passed.

It was such a wonderful exercise. Almost without exception, everyone with whom I made eye contact with and said hello or good morning to either smiled or smiled and said good morning back.

If I had to give percentages it would have been a 95% smile back rate.

I could never make this up. 🙂

Now of course I am sure everyone is a little happier on a Caribbean vacation, so I definitely took that into consideration.

But I have been deliberately putting myself out there, making eye contact and smiling as a daily practice.

TIP> Because when you make something good into a daily practice, it eventually becomes ingrained in you as a habit. <TIP!

I try to do it every day at work. ESPECIALLY on days that I don’t feel great emotionally. There is nothing that can pick me up better than to connect with my fellow man.

If you haven’t made eye contact in awhile, you may be a little nervous about how to do it. And you might notice that it doesn’t feel natural at first.

**But remember, making eye contact and smiling is the most natural thing in the world. We did this all the time when we were little! The only thing unnatural is we trained ourselves to stop doing it because of anxiety!**

The best thing you can do about this then, is to prepare yourself before you actually start. Before you leave your house, you can do some quick neuro-activation to help you become more relaxed and confident.

You might try the quick 2 minute Time Line technique I told you about in my last post. You could also review your favorite anxiety busting program, or you could do some hypnosis.

Or you could do a few minutes of EFT (also called Tapping). Here is a great video you can use to help with this:

Once you have taken some of that emotional charge out of the prospect of making eye contact, you’re ready to go out there and start.

Check in and make sure you’re breathing nice and regularly and not holding your breath.

Making eye contact- greeting someone with a smile- is a small kindness. Extending kindness out brings it back to you. So once you start doing this, you can’t help but feel uplifted and happier.

Remember, once you start looking outwards a little it becomes much easier. When you expand your awareness in this way, it helps knock the wind out of the sails of social anxiety.

How are you with making eye contact? Has social anxiety made it difficult or impossible for you? I’d love to hear your thoughts on the subject. Leave a comment and let’s chat!

I wish you peace,

Jill G.

PS. If you loved this post, please Like and Share it on social media. Thank you!

Here are some popular articles from Panic Free Me that may help you today:

Self Treatment for Social Anxiety

Successfully Coping with Anxiety – The Basics

And here are some helpful resources I have put together for you:

Free Anxiety Tips & Help

Hypnosis Downloads for Anxiety & Phobias

Recommended Anxiety Products That Work

Recommended Anxiety Books

Posted in Social Anxiety Disorder | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

NLP Timeline Technique: 2 Minutes to Stop Anxiety Fast – LOVING this! :)

Yesterday at work we had an impromptu meeting and while I didn’t have a panic attack, I definitely could have. I had a level of agitation and social anxiety that was uncomfortable. So I just sat there all miserable waiting for it to end.

I didn’t like how I felt afterwards. I could tell during the meeting that I was in a contracted, fearful state. That if I was called on to speak, it would have been a real challenge. And when others were speaking, I was sad and envious of their ease of expressing themselves. 🙁

When I woke up this morning I vowed I would find something to help me. Something quick and effective. This morning I was looking at NLP videos on YouTube. I came upon this one that helped a lot:


Here are some notes taken from the video:

Think of your life as a timeline. Float out and above the event about which you were anxious. Look down as an observer.

Here’s the key:
Go 15 minutes out furhter. Turn and look back down onto your timeline. Turn and look back and see the event turn out better than you could have possibly imagined.
Now- now, where’s the anxiety?
If you’ve done this correctly, it’s either greatly reduced, or completely gone.

Yay! 🙂

I did this exercise using yesterday’s staff meeting as the anxious event, and wow. Almost as if by magic, the feelings and anxiety I had about it completely evaporated.

I could totally picture myself sitting in the next meeting ROCKING it with calmness and happy confidence. Thank you Lord!

I really LOVE this technique! 🙂

Remember last fall when I had that episode of being paralyzed with anxiety over my upcoming flight? Well, the therapist I worked with Christopher Paul Jones, included this NLP timeline technique as one of the ways to help me regain my confidence and emotional balance.

And in the Overcome Fear of Flying hypnosis download I purchased, they also effectively used this timeline technique as well.

Give it a whirl and let me know how you like it!

I love finding fast, effective ways for us anxious folk to get back to our calm selves! NLP rocks!

TIP: If this works great for you, bookmark it so you can have it on hand to refer to as needed!

I wish you peace,

Jill G.

PS. If you loved this post, please share it on social media. Thank you!

Here are some popular articles from Panic Free Me that may help you today:

Self Treatment for Social Anxiety

Successfully Coping with Anxiety – The Basics

And here are some helpful resources I have put together for you:

Free Anxiety Tips & Help

Hypnosis Downloads for Anxiety & Phobias

Recommended Anxiety Products That Work

Recommended Anxiety Books

Posted in Social Anxiety Disorder | Tagged , , | 2 Comments

The Gift of Silence – How it Helps Relieve Anxiety & Tension

Silence and inner stillness are blessings in my life. Today I want to talk about how being still and silent can help relieve tension and anxiety, and really just makes things better overall.silence is a source of great strength

The other night I could not fall asleep. I was tired when I went to bed, but wide awake once I turned the lights out. Sleep didn’t come till after 2 am. I was antsy and kept having a lot of negative thoughts.

After laying there for awhile I went to the bathroom. I looked out the window. It was a full moon and the light cast beautiful shadows off the trees. It looked absolutely heavenly.

I was overcome with gratitude to gaze upon such beauty and stillness. I just stood there looking out, taking slow, conscious breaths. This righted me. It was so pleasant. I felt the peace and stillness of that beautiful moonlit scene.

After that sign from the heavens that all is well,  I climbed back into bed, regrouped and read helpful things on my iPad until my lids got heavy.

I am grateful for the gifts of silence and stillness.

This past year, more than ever, I am experiencing the immense value of having the ability to hold my tongue- something I could never do in the past. However, I am doing it in a peaceful way, not in a bitchy ‘silent treatment’ kind of way.

Whether it’s someone irritating at work, or when my husband says something that triggers me, I can be silent and let the irritation or trigger just be. I don’t have to add to it with a reactive comment or giving someone ‘the look.’ I can give it some space.

The beauty of using silence is the situation quickly dissipates. It is so very helpful to act this way! 🙂

What follows are some recent examples where using Silence made things better…

Silence Takes the Wind out of a Potential Argument

Yesterday morning my husband and I were both up early. I wanted to show him an article online that I thought would be helpful for him for a project he is doing. His response was to get angry and scold me.

I didn’t say anything. I maintained my silence and didn’t argue back.

My pattern for years was to give it right back to him.

After all, here I am being all nice and showing him an article to help him and he becomes an angry jerk in response.

But is he really being a jerk to me?

Can I absolutely know that’s accurate?

No, I can’t.

Because of the grace of silence, I could understand that he was hurting. He is very nervous because he had a bad year at work and is worried of what the future holds for him at his company. The article I had him read was advice for a new project he is doing (his plan is to turn this project into his next career).

While my intention was good, he became overwhelmed because it hit that nerve in him where he is worried about his job. Anything related to work can set him off.

And in that space I could feel compassion for him. He lost his job 3 years ago, and now this one is looking dismal as well. As a man and provider I cannot fathom how hard it must be for him.

So I was able to realize he was lost in his own negative thoughts and I also recognized his reaction wasn’t personal. He wasn’t trying to be mean. He was scared.

I made a neutral comment to him, because I wanted to be clear. I said something along the lines of, Listen this is not important. I am not trying to tell you what to do. I just saw this and it came to me to share it with you. That’s all.

Silence.

And then a few minutes later he apologized. It was a heartfelt apology. You must know that he never apologizes. It is almost unheard of.

And over this past year, this kind of scene has played out more than a few times- where he is reactive at me with anger and I don’t defend back.

All because I am no longer arguing. I am doing my best to be still and as peaceful as I can. I am not engaging in reactive arguing. I cannot tell you what a gift and blessing this has been to me!

Silence On the Way to Work

One of the best little things I have incorporated into my morning routine is to sit for a few minutes in silent meditation.

Sometimes though – and thankfully not nearly as often as in years past-  I experience having anxiety before work. When I notice during my commute that I am anxious, I turn off the CD I am listening to and just drive in silence.

In the silent car, I take in all the sights and sounds of the beautiful drive in to work. I love looking at the sky and the trees and the early morning light. I will say a prayer of gratitude or do positive affirmations to get myself rooted back in the present.

It is very helpful in reducing anxiety! And so nice to walk into work after nipping anxiety in the bud!

Using Silence at Work- Staying out of the Crossfire

A few weeks ago we had an extremely busy day on our unit. There were a ton of surgeries and so in my post anesthesia unit, we had patient after patient coming in to us. We were slamming, and it was real intense.

My coworker Mary got overwhelmed. Which was completely understandable. All at once she became very irritable and short tempered.

I just kept my head down and took care of my patients without engaging her or feeding into her mood. I stayed focused on my patients and outside of the drama unfolding around me.

Once the day was over, her sweet personality came back. But she had made a few enemies that day, from being short tempered with other staff members.

By keeping to myself and not being a part of it, I was able to somehow rise above it. If that makes any sense.

I know if that day had happened even a year ago, I would have gotten into a verbal altercation with her. Reacting to another person’s anger has always fueled my own anger. I guess that’s what they mean when they say bad feelings are contagious.

But by maintaining some stillness within and silently going about my work, I was not pulled into the fray.

So to have made it through that day unscathed and without butting heads with Mary was a real win.

Letting the Loud Girl Have Her Say

There’s a girl I work with who is very LOUD. She talks loud and has something to say about everything. She used to irritate the hell out of me. But since becoming more still and silent, I find I can tolerated her better and feel much less reactive around her.

When we’re in the lunchroom and she is going on and on about what she thinks about this or that political figure, I am no longer compelled to chime in with my opinion. Or cringe inside and leave the room. I just let her talk. Pretty soon she runs out of air.

And I find I no longer dislike her. I actually do like her and can see that she is friendly and funny.

Pausing or taking time to respond lets us see clearly what’s happening, it gives us the opportunity to view the situation differently – from the other’s perspective or to think of the good in the other person. It lets compassion seep in. –Source

In closing, I am very grateful to have learned to be still, to be silent. That sometimes in the midst of chaos, I have the grace to be silent. To observe and listen and really take in what is going on around me. I am grateful for the compassion this has given me and the lessons I am learning from it.

Do you ever wish you didn’t react out loud when you feel provoked or irritated? Can you see how silence can help serve you in your life and in your relationships?

Leave a comment and let’s chat!

I wish you peace,

Jill G.

PS. If you loved this post, please share it on social media. Thank you!

Here are some popular articles from Panic Free Me that may help you today:

Self Treatment for Social Anxiety

Successfully Coping with Anxiety – The Basics

And here are some helpful resources I have put together for you:

Free Anxiety Tips & Help

Hypnosis Downloads for Anxiety & Phobias

Recommended Anxiety Products That Work

Recommended Anxiety Books

Posted in Stress Management, Healthy Lifestyle | Tagged , , | 2 Comments

How My (Bad) Marriage is Getting Better

I started meditating about 4 years ago. So many things have improved in my life since then, it is undeniable. Slowing down for those few minutes and connecting to my inner stillness has been a Godsend for me. And interestingly, my tumultuous, stressful, headed-for-divorce marriage even got better too.

Although I couldn’t put my finger on exactly how or why that was the case, I read an article this morning that explained it perfectly. My hope is that this can benefit you in your marriage or partnership too…

These are The Things That Make or Break a Relationship

He comes home from work exhausted again. After yet another frustrating meeting that could have been covered in an email, a tense conversation with a co-worker about the state of the break room refrigerator, and predictably awful traffic on the way home, he crashes onto the living room sofa, lets out a deep breath, and turns on his favorite show. All he wants to do is decompress in silence.

As if on cue, he hears the back door open. His wife is home — and somehow she’s more chipper than ever. As she enters the room and removes her coat, she takes a moment to pause at the front window, saying, “What beautiful weather — it’s just lovely today.”

What should he do next? The answer may matter more than you think.

John Gottman has spent his career studying what makes relationships work — and what he has discovered is as practical as it is important. Through his research, he has been able to identify what qualities and practices make a couple masters of their relationship, as well as what can make a relationship turn into a disaster. He found a subtle but significant difference between the masters and disasters that strongly predicts the future of their relationships: In the small, everyday moments of life together, relationship masters are much more responsive to their partner’s attempts to engage with them.

These attempts at engagement, or emotional bids, are any effort on the part of one partner to connect or get their partner’s attention. These bids can be as glaringly obvious as a direct request for cuddling at bedtime or as subtle as an indirect comment about the weather, addressed to no one in particular. Gottman found that partners who consistently responded positively — or turned toward — each other’s emotional bids were significantly more likely to feel satisfied and stay together over time than those who did not. In fact, in a six-year study of newlyweds, Gottman discovered that couples who stayed together turned toward each other’s emotional bids 86 percent of the time, while those who went on to divorce turned toward each other’s bids only 33 percent of the time.

Over time, all of the seemingly insignificant moments of daily life in a relationship turn into something of immense importance. Gottman identified four different responses that people typically utilize when their partner sends an emotional bid in their direction. Each can either support or tear down a relationship’s sense of togetherness and security. We can turn toward our partner; turn enthusiastically toward our partner; turn away from our partner; or turn against our partner. In the introductory example, a husband worn out from his day receives an emotional bid from his wife when she comments about the weather. He has a choice: He can turn toward his wife with a short and simple “Yes, it is,” acknowledging her bid; he can turn enthusiastically toward her by engaging her in a longer conversation about the day; turn away from her by ignoring the comment; or turn against her by gruffly asking for some peace and quiet.

Although an enthusiastic response to an emotional bid is almost always appreciated, more often than not a simple acknowledgement of your partner’s bid is enough to deepen your connection. You don’t have to deliver endless energy, attention, and focus to be a relationship master.

How is it that such small moments make such a big difference in our relationships? By consistently turning toward your partner when they reach for you in small ways, you fortify your relationship against the stresses and obstacles of life. Essentially, an emotional bid is a small way that we daily ask our partners, “Are you here with me?” or, “Do I matter to you?” The answer to these questions becomes even more important if there has been previous infidelity or if either partner has a history of trauma. By receiving a metaphorical “Yes!” to these questions consistently throughout your relationship, you strengthen your trust and connection to each other.

Pay attention to the small ways in which your partner reaches for you and attempts to connect — intentionally looking for ways to turn toward your partner will help you be more effective in connecting with them. Every time you turn toward your partner in response to an emotional bid, you invest in the health and security of your relationship. This sense of security, of feeling truly able to know and be known by your partner, created by intentionally and consistently turning toward your partner, deepens your shared sense of intimacy and is correlated with increased marriage satisfaction.

As John Gottman reminds us in his work, it’s the small things done often that make the biggest difference in relationships. By turning toward your partner’s emotional bids, you safeguard your relationship against disrepair and deepen the love you share.

Article Source: Psychology Today

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